Doubt - A feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.
We all feel it; it creeps in from everywhere. Work, relationships, parenting, life decisions and even out on the bike. Some feel it more than others but it is within all of us.
When I starting writing these blogs, the doubt was large and real. What was it that convinced and pushed me to write them anyway? Trust and belief.
How do we build these and make doubt the underdog? How do we achieve our goals and dreams without doubting on the way? I am on a mission to find these answers, not just in one aspect of my life - but in all.
It has been quite a few weeks since my last blog post. I won't lie to you, the reason for this was doubt. I had a few people pick up some writing mistakes, and writing has never been an easy task for me. As a child, I went through school with some learning, reading and writing difficulties, with these issues came a lot of doubt. Now as an adult, this doubt has been around for a very long time.
When I was a child I found out that I was dyslexic, (I find it very amusing that the word dyslexic couldn't be a harder word for a dyslexic person to read or spell! Come on give us a break! lol), which answered the why but didn't remove the doubt.
The more I learn about dyslexia, the more I no longer see it as a 'problem' or 'difficulty'. We just see the world differently and learn differently. We are creative; we have skills that people who do learn well in mainstream education do not have. I am realising more and more it's a gift and not a hindrance. So am I doubting myself because I am dyslexic? No, my doubt is being judged by others. If they read this what will their interpretation of my writing or spelling be?
I found the belief and courage to get up and write again. I also recently had someone quote parts of my past blogs, which was an amazing feeling. What someone finds as a mistake or incorrect another takes as an inspiration; so the answer, you've just got to believe in yourself and persevere.
Doubt can happen a lot out on the bike, especially with female cyclists. I've seen it so much, people doubting their abilities. Doubting their ability to keep up, dreading the thought of having to make people wait for them, doubting their ability to perform and talking down their achievements.
In my circle, the cyclist that I've ridden with would not think twice or have a problem helping out or supporting another fellow cyclist. This is the community we are in. This doesn't take the doubt away though and the only person that can do that is the doubter.
It's amazing to see what can be achieved when people truly believe in themselves and their actions - dreams happen. If you are a doubter and feel you are letting down those you ride with. Try changing your thoughts out there, we are all out on the road for the same reasons and if you believe you can keep up or believe you aren't letting anyone down, you'll have a much better time out there. If you are proud of your achievements and believe you did a great job out there climbing, racing or whatever your goal was - you'll reap the rewards.
We are all, as cyclists so lucky to be apart of an inclusive and supportive community. Put that doubt away where it belongs.... trust yourself and believe!!!
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